The shadow on the grass . . .

Crow Bigfoot, warrior, statesman and leader of the Blackfoot people in 1890, lay dying of pneumonia.  "What is life?" he asked rhetorically.  ". . . It is as the little shadow that runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."

It should never be so for old warriors, but yet it often is.  And last Friday, another shadow rippled across the grass and lost itself in the sunset.  Chuck Fleischer, referee, instructor, assessor, mentor and warrior from Viet Nam, died after suffering from cancer as a result of flying helicopters in the miasma that was Agent Orange.  It should never have been so: diagnosed last September, ravaged to death in April.

Old warriors should live long lives, and then die in peace, irrespective of anyone's opinion of the validity of the war in which they fought.  Criticize the war, but respect the service of the warrior.  In the last months of his life, Chuck and I talked about service--the stress of it, the return of suffering again and again because of it, and the savagery of aggressive cancer that was taking him away.  I was fortunate and he was not: my several encounters with cancer flattened me, but left me yet breathing.

Not too many days ago, Chuck met with another warrior from those days in Viet Nam.  He and Herb Silva had encountered each other in the air above the south-east Asian jungle, and at lunch during a break in the clinic Herb was giving in northern California, talked quietly about their experience.  As they talked, they both knew Chuck was dying; neither one of them thought it would be so soon, and it has proven to be their final conversation.

I was glad to know you, Chuck, even though it was late in your life.  As Crowfoot also said from his death-bed: Life ". . . is the flash of a firefly in the night . . . the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime."  A firefly, a buffalo will bring you back into my mind. 

Semper . . .  

Comments

[Dustin Edwards]

...Fidelis. Great words for your friend, thank you for sharing.

[Nathan Lacy]

It was an honor to have known and worked with him. I will miss him, his insights, and his upholding of the highest standards of integrity.

[paul denton]

OORAH

[Van Emden Henson]

I had never before met either Herb Silva or Chuck Fleischer, but through happenstance I sat next to Herb at the crowded table as he and Chuck shared that last conversation. Out of politeness they took pains to include me (and others) in their conversation, and though I tried as much as I could to leave these two old friends to their private musings, I could not help but hear much of their discourse. I was struck by the obvious depth of their affection and the strength of the bond between them. While I knew both possessed extraordinary wisdom about soccer and refereeing, which was obvious when they spoke on soccer-related topics, I was even more impressed with their views on ordinary life, on how people could and should treat each other, and on a surprising sense of optimism from men having seen and shared so much of the dark side of life. My only encounter with Chuck Fleischer thus lasted a bit less than an hour; nevertheless, I will remember it as a meaningful and important hour.