Aloud the wind doth blow . . .

The game is not only about La Liga, the Premiership, Serie A and the Champions' League.  It's also about Sunday League games, pub teams, youth leagues and matches played on wet and windy fields on public parks when it is still officially winter.  But in all of the games, the tensions are the same--the competitiveness, the physical play and conning the referee to get an advantage of some sort.  Take last Sunday in Stretford, in the Manchester Publicity League in northern England.

It's a penalty for International Manchester F.C. for a foul by a player from Chorlton Villa.  The referee gets everybody sorted and positioned and takes up his spot for the kick.  Tension rises and the players go quiet.  But as we know, not everyone reacts to stress in the same way.  The referee takes a last look around, raises his whistle, inhales . . . but before he can blow, one of the players does.

In the tense silence of the moment, the noise is unmistakeable.  One of the defenders f**ts out loud, as in: cuts loose, imitates a barking spider, poots, delivers morning thunder, steps on a toad, makes an air biscuit, a gasser, an air bubble, a southerly wind, a trump, parp, biff, a wet one.  You get the picture!

No doubt surprised by the noise, the penalty-taker screws up the kick, which the goalkeeper saves.  What's the referee to do?  What went through his mind?  Did the disturbance put off the kicker?  Was he startled?  Was he downwind of the air-biscuit?  Or did the referee take the act personally as a comment about the original decision?  Dissent by action?  A contemptuous trumpet of derision, flavored to offend?

The referee had only a second or two to make a decision, so he quickly blew his whistle and ordered a retake, after first booking the offender for "unsporting behavior".  He who has the last blow wins the contest.  But by the end of the game, he had pulled three reds and two yellows, all for players from Chorlton Villa, who won the game 6-4 (goals, that is).

Now I'm going to watch Liverpool v. Chelsea and listen to the sound of the Kop.  That should drown out the loudest of guffs.

 

Comments

[Dennis Wickham]

It is an ill wind that blows no good.

[K.M. Kaufman]

That was so funny, Bob! Now I know what to do when the over 50's do that in the game!! No excuses

[rmccain]

Was the referee's face a whiter shade of pale?

[Brent Carpenter]

In class we discussed the dog running on the field and into a direct kick, etc. but this scenario was never mentioned. I'll make sure to bring it up at the next certification class. I would have been trying so hard not to laugh that I probably would have missed the call, but I guess that why those premier refs make the big bucks.

[Note that this was an amateur game, and no big referee was involved. There's no need to overreact to something like that. Humor would take care of it. "Now that wouldn't be dissent, would it?" - RE]